Sports Can Be Very Funny!

On September 8, 2016September 8, 2016 By ls1228In Extreme Blonde MomentsLeave a comment

https://vine.co/v/eYamuuUh21Y/embed/simple
This sports double entendre may just be one of the funniest moments in recent sports history. That it happened to hall of fame broadcaster, Bob Miller, pains me, because he is my favorite. Make sure you click on the link and enjoy.

If you aren’t a hockey fan, you probably don’t get the double meaning of the comment Mr. Miller made in the clip above. Hockey fans died laughing. If you are the significant other of a sports fan who seems to have lost their mind because it’s Fall sports season, you have probably begun to also find yourself alone all weekend because you don’t share your significant other’s love of entire days spent watching sports on TV.

While some significant others feel left out, I don’t! I LOVE SPORTS. I watch them all! I haunt Twitter for any information about teams and players I care about and follow my favorite sports writers and on-air personalities. I search the sports talk first on Twitter and, inevitably, end up involved in tweet chats involving my favorite teams. I take on the big boys with passion (last week I called out ESPN’s Chris Fowler over his obvious Alabama bias during the broadcast and, without defending his bias, he instead debated me about calling those charged with Felonies, “Felons”), I research my positions, I back down when I’m wrong, but I fight to win when I think my position is supported and I’m right.

It may not look like it now, but I grew up a tomboy! My mom wanted to buy me cute skirts and dresses but I wanted Toughskins like the other girls and boys at Vejar Elementary. I didn’t sit in the halls playing paper dolls with the other little girls. My girlfriends all played every sport at school like I did. Kickball, tetherball, handball, dodgeball, football in the rain? I was in! Team sports? I played organized and then school soccer, volleyball, and tennis. But softball and basketball were the sports I played from 2nd grade through high school and beyond, and the ones that I loved the most.

If my dad was watching a football, baseball, basketball or hockey game on TV, I was planted right beside him watching and yelling along. It’s what we did. I think the hardest day for him was the day he had to tell my mom to make me wear a t-shirt under my softball jersey because he could see my C-Cup bra underneath the mesh. Poor guy. I think it was probably the first time he realized I really was a girl and not his oldest son!

I Love:

Wearing my favorite team’s colors: #Fight On, #Beat The Bruins, #Go Trojans; #Go Kings Go!, #Beat The Ducks; #Go Lakers;
Sitting on the couch, or sitting in a bar yelling & throwing high fives;
Eating food I shouldn’t and drinking cold beer; and
Cheering wins and feeling the disappointment of losses with friends.

But even if you aren’t one of those who grew up in a household that revolved around sports and sporting events, you can still come and feel like part of the gang!

Watch for funny headlines like the one about Alex Rodriguez to the left with it’s hilarious play on words. Commit them to memory, or even cut them out for reference and throw them into a conversation during the next baseball game you’re watching with rabid baseball fans. They’ll appreciate your effort.

Don’t zone out while everyone else is watching the game. Get into it. Listen to the banter, pay attention to what the announcers are saying about the game even if you don’t understand it, and if you time it perfectly, you may just get to throw out a well timed sports double entendre!

Some examples of sports double entendres:

Watching Basketball? If someone has the ball and is bouncing it up court (AKA “dribbling”) they are the: Ball Handler. If you hear someone refer to poor ball handling or they say he has “weak/bad/poor/shitty, etc. ball handling skills” you can whip out a witty comeback of, “I bet he’s great at pocket pool.”
In football, when a player is getting tackled it can be said that the opponent, “rode him to the ground.” Groan! Alright, it’s crude, but your amongst beer drinking football fans, it’s bound to be a little rough and tumble.
Again in basketball, if a team has 3 very tall players on the court, they have. “a lot of length down low.” wink wink

Whip one of these out and you’ll be the one your significant other’s buddies are anxious to have there every time they go out, not just when they are watching games! You’ll show a little bit of knowledge about the game you’re watching and you’ll be funny too! Before you know it, you’ll be the one getting the high fives instead of your significant other!

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Funny Video Whether You Vote Elephant or Donkey

On July 25, 2016 By ls1228In Extreme Blonde MomentsLeave a comment

elevsdonk1 We’ve all seen political candidates come out to address a crowd with a popular song blaring in the background, but have you ever stopped to think about whether the candidate has the permission of the artist who sang the song, or the publisher who owns the rights to the song? I never have, and apparently neither have many candidates.

Last week Donald Trump pissed off Queen, who have requested he not use their music at his campaign events many times, when he took the stage at the Republican National Convention to their hit song, “We Are the Champions.” Queen guitarist, Brian May, took to Twitter and made it clear that he, and the rest of the surviving members of Queen, do not approve:

queentrump

Apparently believing that all mentions on Twitter are good mentions, the Trump campaign then used the Beatles classic, “Here comes the Sun” as Ivanka Trump took the stage on Thursday night. While she was the sole ray of sunshine in an otherwise nasty festival of name calling and mudslinging, the campaign again failed to get the proper permissions and the Estate of George Harrison, the song’s writer, was not amused, stating that it was unauthorized, offensive and against their wishes.

The issue isn’t new and one of the song use conflicts goes back to the 1980’s, when Ronald Regan was one of the first to use Bruce Springsteen’s massive hit, “Born in the USA.”

There is a great article, written in November of 2012, by Eddie Deezen for Neatorama.com, in which he describes how many Americans from every walk of life have so badly misunderstood the true meaning of the words of Springsteen’s song, and have turned it into the “ultimate All-American song,” when, in fact, it is an angry song about how horribly the Vietnam Veterans were treated upon their return home from war.

Over the years artists have taken offense to having their songs affiliated with campaigns and candidates haven’t always chosen songs wisely when trying to communicate their messages:

1984 – Ronald Regan (Republican): “Born in the USA” Bruce Springsteen says that his song is, “far from a Rah, Rah America song…that the song has a much darker side” he asked for the Regan campaign to stop using it and they did.
1996 – Bob Dole (Republican): He got shot down twice. First by Isaac Hayes and David Porter who co-wrote “Soul Man,” as performed by Sam Moore, and later the Blues Brothers; then Bruce Springsteen, who again did not want “Born in the USA” used by a politician.
2004 – John Kerry (Democrat): He made a choice that backfired on him when he chose Creedence Clearwater Revival’s, John Fogerty penned, “Fortunate Son,” which he wrote in response to the romance between Eisenhower’s son & Nixon’s daughter, making the dig that neither family would see a son sent to Vietnam. Kerry, a proud Vietnam Veteran, likely chose the song as a dig at the incumbent George W. Bush, who never saw action in Vietnam because of his wealth and family ties that kept him stateside. Kerry lost the election.
2008 – Rudy Guiliani (Republican): “Rudi Can’t Fail” The Clash penned the song as an ode to an irresponsible young man being criticized by his elders. FYI, Rudy Guiliani, while dubbed “America’s Mayor,” citing his grace, strength and stamina in the days, weeks and months following 9/11, did fail. He lost in the primaries and never made it past the nominating process.
2008 – John McCain/Sarah Palin (Republican): First McCain chose ABBA’s “Take a Chance on Me” then he switched the campaign theme song to Heart’s “Barracuda” after adding Sarah Palin as his Vice Presidential running mate because it was her nickname in high school. Heart, of course, wanted nothing to do with that dumpster fire of a campaign. It failed.

John Oliver, host of HBO’s Last Week Tonight, highlighted a few of the ironic songs the campaigns have used this campaign cycle with a touch of snark and then got a group of musicians who’ve had their music used without their permission, to collaborate on a very tongue-in-cheek song and video to try and get the message across to politicians in a way they might understand, a video resembling a campaign ad:

Copyright law and publishing rights are on the books for the protection of the artists. It’s time they put some muscle behind their tweets and start making the campaigns, who thumb their noses at them and continue to blatantly use their music, pay for their offenses. Take them to court when a standard cease and desist letter doesn’t get the desired result. Hmmm!

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Did You Know?

On July 11, 2016 By ls1228In Extreme Blonde MomentsLeave a comment

killerkangaroo I’ve been errant in posting while on a very needed vacation. Hmmm

I love random facts so here are some I have come across in the past couple of weeks.

Did you know…

you shouldn’t brush your teeth until 30 minutes after a meal because eating softens your tooth enamel and brushing sooner could damage it?
a bag of skittles has 50% of the RDA of Vitamin C?
if you place a wet paper towel around a warm beer bottle then place the bottle upright in the freezer it will chill in about two minutes?
the big jolly, white bearded man in the red suit we are accustomed to seeing as the embodiment of Santa Claus was created by Coca Cola?
cracking your knuckles doesn’t cause arthritis or hurt your bones, the sound you hear is gas bubbles bursting?
the dot over the lower case j or i is called a “tittle”?
a group of pandas is called an “embarrassment”?
scientists concluded that the chicken came before the egg because the protein needed to make egg shells is only made by hens?
in Australia kangaroos kill more people than sharks?

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National Best Friends Day

On June 9, 2016June 8, 2016 By ls1228In Extreme Blonde MomentsLeave a comment

dyed-easter-eggs Rather than go on a rant about the made up holidays I see popping up on my Twitter Feed everyday, I’m going to play along nicely on this one.

I have 2 very very very best friends. One who’s known and loved me since we were tweens and another I was lucky enough to acquire via marriage. The marriage didn’t last buy my forever friendship did. For that I am extremely thankful. I am also thankful of my mini-herd of great friends that all could easily, and have, slip into BFF duties when the occasion has called for it.

So, since I decided to play along nicely, I am going to share my favorite best friend memes in honor of this made-up-holiday.

I hope all of my Extreme Blonde Moments followers have their own set or herd of BFF’s and can get a little giggle out of memories of shenanigans, drunken disasters, proper occasions spent together, inappropriate behavior, and other times that will be taken to your grave. Hmmm…

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Random Thoughts

On March 29, 2016March 28, 2016 By ls1228In Extreme Blonde MomentsLeave a comment

Twoosh: What you call a perfect, 140-character tweet. Also how your grandma refers to your behind. It’s the equivalent of a slam dunk on Twitter. #Twoosh there it is.

theskimm

This gem is from the Daily Skimm (via theskimm.com). I’m working to incorporate this into a conversation today!

dyed-easter-eggs Here are some things I wish I’d have thought of before Easter. These are especially good for those who don’t celebrate the religious aspects of the Christian holiday and definitely would have made it a more exciting holiday than in years passed.

Easter Ideas for Adventurous Adults

Egg hunts with a twist: Instead of candy inside those plastic eggs, place sexy little notes, inside jokes or clues to the “Golden Egg” of a private scavenger hunt (YOU!) inside for your significant other to find.
Create the ultimate couples Easter basket: 1) Massage oil, scented candles, flavored or sensation creating massage oil; 2) Flavored condoms, edible underwear, whipped cream, chocolate syrup; 3) Naughty toy basket – let your imagination run as wild as your partner is willing to go.
Sexy Texts: Every time you get a “Happy Easter Text” it’s on! Grab your SO and wildly make out or grab a quickie.
The Bunny Trail: Make a trail of roses, candy, arrows, or any other enticements that lead to the bedroom.
Do Like Rabbits Do: Celebrate the day and get it on as many times as you can. Try a new position, location or maybe even a new partner…creativity, frequency and spontaneity are the keys.

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Keep Your “Girls” Perky!

On March 28, 2016March 28, 2016 By ls1228In Extreme Blonde MomentsLeave a comment

With more than 3/4 of a million views in just 6 hours, this post by Nina Mohan & Alice Mongkongllite via Buzzfeed.com was too good by itself to add any commentary to, except to say HMMM….

9 Steps You Can Take to Avoid Boob Sag

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Tie balloons to your nipples: It may seem ridiculous at first, but there is literally nothing worse than a boob that hangs in a natural way.
Do Push Ups, “Boob Push Ups”: We all know boobs sag because they’re not fit! So use them to push yourself off the floor and you’ll finally get the lift you deserve.
Hire someone to walk behind you and hold your boobs up at all times: Make sure they lotion their hands so your boobs absorb some of that sweet moisture.
Invest in a boob shelf. Not a bra, a literal shelf: A nice slab of wood will help keep those boobs looking perky as ever!
Don’t sleep on your front, side or back. In fact, don’t sleep at all: Your boobs probably flop around when you’re unconscious, so avoid sleeping at all costs.
Wear a bra at all times, even in the shower: Letting your boobs hang free is like telling the world you want them to touch the floor!
Avoid bouncy exercises that can damage ligaments, like jumping rope, trampolines, jumping jacks, running, walking, moving, or doing anything: Just stand very still. Your boobs will thank you later.
Walk around with your arms up at all times to make your boobs appear higher: This is a great arm workout in addition to eliminating the sag!
Massage your breasts with the feathers of a bird’s wing to promote lift: Make sure it’s a bird that actually flies! Chicken feathers will make your boobs drop a foot.