They Won’t Forget The Gift You Bought

That season is quickly approaching.  The dreaded Summer Wedding Season.  But before it arrives, there will be the obligatory bridal showers, couples showers and bachelor & bachelorette parties to attend.

Of course, you’ll be obligated to bring gifts to some of those gatherings, but have no fear, once you’ve purchased the mandatory registry item for the couple’s wedding, I’ve come across some gift ideas that will come as a very welcome change of pace when showering the bride and groom separately or together.

campfireironsFor the couple that’s always at the River, would rather be camping, loves bonfires at the beach, or spends nearly every weekend by their fireplace/fire pit in the backyard:  Courtesy of Etsy, give them this stainless steel couple with wood handles that are perfect for roasting a pair of fluffy marshmallows or a nice firm frank over the fire.  If you’re really splurging, throw in a package of jet-puffed marshmallows.

seensayrestaurantsFor the couple that rarely eats at home, has lots of choices, but can never decide where to eat, give them this genius idea that I saw on Pinterest:  Buy a See-And-Say type children’s talking toy.  Using stickers, write the name of area restaurant choices and apply the stickers over the (in this case) farm animals the arrow can land on.  Now your friends can stop arguing over where to eat. 😉

buttbeardpillowcasesAnother fun find from Etsy for that couple that never seems to leave the bedroom:  A pair of coordinating pillowcases – choices include:  I Love Her Butt / I Love His Beard;  Little Spoon/Big Spoon;  I’m Crazy/I Like Crazy;  I’m Weird/ I Like Weird

corkandbeercapsIf your friends are part of the drinking class, like to throw a few back and otherwise have a good time will having a beer or few and some wine:  This set of His and Her shadowbox frames for collecting corks and bottle caps should suit them just fine!

beachchairIf you’re showering your favorite river, lake or beach loving bride to be, bachelorette, or even birthday girl:  This ultimate beach chair is more than calling her name!  If the two of you share that passion then you better get one for yourself too!

doorhangerorganizerWould your favorite bride forget her head if it weren’t attached?  Poke a little good-natured fun at your forgetful Bridezilla if you dare with this door hanger organizer that reminds her not to forget things like her glasses, keys, phone, important papers, etc.

Some other things to consider giving a highly stressed bride-to-be would be a day of pampering of any kind: A massage at somewhere local like a Massage Envy; if you know where she gets her mani-pedis done, treat her;  has she been complaining about something she hasn’t been able to get done, like a pet grooming?  Get referrals for a local mobile groomer and buy her a gift card for her pampered pooch to get a treatment that she doesn’t have to leave the house for.  The key is to be creative.

These kind of gifts really work for any occasion and beat the routine gift card for dinner any day!

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Silly Bathroom Facts

This one is just for the fun of saying I blogged about the bathroom!

silly-bathroom-fact

Do you use Facebook? If you’re interested in the occasional product that intrigues me or something I’ve bought that’s a waste of time or money, things that make me wonder, piss me off, tickle my fancy, scream like a maniac, giggle, or yell in frustration, you can receive an email each time I’ve got something new to ponder or you can join the nearly 3,000 people who find me engaging or amusing at the Facebook page dedicated to this blog: https://www.facebook.com/extremeblondemoments

I’m Tired of Bad News

leiaWith all of the dirty politics, bad and false news along with the unexpected deaths of beloved entertainers and icons, #RIPCarrieFisher, we’ve been bombarded with in the last 3 months of 2016, I thought I’d pass along some funny and intriguing facts to leave us all something to giggle about and ponder as we enter the new year:

  • The Havasupai Tribe of Indians, who live deep in Arizona’s Grand Canyon, are visited by more than 20,000 visitors annually who come to hike, camp, ride horses and swim in beautiful turquoise waters.  The public can reach them only via helicopters or by navigating primitive trails on horseback.  Because of their remote location, the tribe is not serviced by FedEx or UPS and they can only receive their US mail via delivery by mule.  They are the only place in the United States to receive their mail by mule.
  • A “butt” is an actual unit of measurement.  The term butt or buttload was originally used as a medieval measurement for wine: a buttload = 475 liters or 126 gallons.buttmeasurement
  • Tired of your glasses sliding down your nose?  There’s a wax for that: NERDWAX™! The guys on Sharktank loved it! Rub on your glasses or nose like Chapstick™ andnerdwax your glasses stay put for hours.
  • Harrison Ford is the only film icon who has a species of spiders (Calponia harrisonfordi) and ants (Pheidole harrisonfordi) named after him in honor of his dedicated conservation work.
  • Sorry to tell you this ladies, but here are a few new reasons for your guy to try and encourage you to perform oral sex on him: Oral sex boosts cardio health, lowers blood pressure, it burns calories, and it is believed that the more ejaculations a man has, the lower his risk of prostate cancer.   In addition, a Dutch study showed that oralswallowing semen lowered a woman’s risk of pre-eclampsia (dangerously high blood pressure that can occur during pregnancy). And a North Carolina State University study showed that women who regularly preformed fellatio reduced their risk of breast cancer by as much as 40%. swoosh
  • Phil Knight paid Carol Davidson (a student at Portland State University) $35 in 1971
    for designing the iconic NIKE Swoosh logo. 10 years later he gifted her with today’s equivalent of $643,000 worth of NIKE stock.ducks
  • Only female ducks quack. The males grunt, hiss, moo, and make other similar noises.

Are you on Facebook? If you’re interested in the occasional product that intrigues me or something I’ve bought that’s a waste of time or money, things that make me wonder, piss me off, tickle my fancy, scream like a maniac, giggle, or yell in frustration, you can receive an email each time I’ve got something new to ponder or you can join the more than 2,800 people who find me engaging or amusing at the Facebook page dedicated to this blog: https://www.facebook.com/extremeblondemoments

Lighten Up People!

blazingsaddlesBefore special interest groups began dictating the tenor of the news, the 24 hour cable news cycle, cell phones (with instant video to internet upload ability), and social media’s ability to take a story worldwide in milliseconds, things that weren’t politically correct were funny.  It’s okay, you can admit that you laughed at the off-color humor of the 1970’s, 1980’s, and 1990’s everyone did.

  • Whose dad didn’t come home from a night out with the boys with a bad joke or two?
  • Who didn’t laugh at the dozens of “Revenge of the Nerds” type movies that filled the theaters?
  • “Blazing Saddles” and it’s blatantly racist humor?
  • What about the “Cheech and Chong” movies?
  • How about the very raunchy stand-up routines of Steve Martin, Robin Williams, Bobcat Goldthwait, Andrew Dice Clay, Richard Pryor and others of the era?
  • Who didn’t see (and die laughing at) the VERY R-rated Eddie Murphy “Delirious” and “Raw”?

Today if you admitted to laughing hysterically at any comedy of that type, at minimum, you’d be accused of being (depending which comic you were describing) any one of:

  • Racist
  • Sexist
  • Xenophobic
  • Anti-Establishment
  • Discriminatory (Against the disabled or intellectually “challenged”)
  • A Pedophile
  • Abusive (Spousal or otherwise)
  • Homophobic
  • Alcoholic
  • A Drug Addict (or finding the practice/behavior acceptable)

babes-of-the-sunset-stripEnvision your 1980’s party-girl bestie, who years ago would have been laughing beside you.  Now she’s among the modern-day helicopter parenting, wine drinking /judgment passing disguised as women’s bible study night, soccer-moms who, rather than just ignore jokes or delete things they’ve decided they “can’t” publicly find funny anymore:

  • Spread emails publicly shaming a person who shared an off-color joke or meme
  • Encourage mutual friends to cut a person from social circles for the same
  • No longer allow their children to associate with the person’s  children at or after school
  • Have contacted Human Resources to report the “inappropriate” behavior at work as harassing, gotten them reprimanded, and even fired
  • Have spread the gossip to their places of worship, children’s sports teams and other participatory organizations, making the person and their family feel so unwelcome they leave and even more from their home.

All of this stemming from having the nerve to have a sense of humor and realizing that there is still a First Amendment.  How one person’s right to share and enjoy humor has gone from people just deleting the offending or not funny email or just giving the person a courtesy laugh or politely asking not to hear that type of joke/language to the extremes above is everything that our society was never intended to be.  Our Constitution and protections of the many rights allowed to us within the Bill of Rights is exactly why we have gone to war.  #PeopleNeedToLightenUp

You might wonder what made me go Hmmm about this today.  Well, it was seeing another stupid headline about Donald Trump’s Twitter war with the way that he is being characterized on Saturday Night Live. #SatireIsProtectedSpeech

snl

When Saturday Night Live was actually funny (from 1975 through the 1980’s) everyone tuned in to see the double entendres that Chevy Chase, Jane Curtin, Dan Aykroyd, Gilda Radnor, John Belushi, Eddie Murphy, Phil Hartman, Adam Sandler, Tina Fey, and dozens of others over the ensuing decades tossed out that danced just below the censor line.

trumpsnlBased on the personal offense that the President-Elect is taking to the lampooning Alec Baldwin’s almost weekly Saturday Night Live performances are giving him, he must have forgotten the very nature of the show he admitted to enjoying before he actually won enough electoral college votes to earn the job he was seeking.  Saturday Night Live has always made its laughs at the expense of the folly of politicians (including past Presidents), celebrities, sports figures and other notorious media personalities.

For a while (read that, when it served his benefit) Trump was in on the “joke.”  Trump appeared as a host on SNL multiple times, largely to take the wind out of SNL’s  anti-Trump sails.  He refused to poke fun at himself and was only interested, when he hosted in 2015, in an appearance that was widely criticized, in downplaying his inflammatory campaign trail statements about Mexican and Muslim immigrants.  Now he seems much more interested in wielding whatever power he retains at NBC by making veiled threats that SNL, which has survived 42 years and 7 Presidents, is on the way out.

This quote from the June 10, 2015 edition of  Salon Magazine perfectly sums up my feelings on critical opinions of satire and comedy:

  • Know the performer you are watching on TV, listening to or seeing live
  • If you’re in the public eye and don’t like what’s being said about you, especially if the truth hurts, #ChangeTheChannel
  • If you don’t enjoy raw, politically honest, racial, sexual, vulgar and other taboo topics that might be in a show, DON’T GO SEE THAT COMEDIAN OR ANYTHING THEY ARE IN! #FreedomOfChoice
  • If people you know enjoy that type of comedy you don’t have to stop being their friend, but you don’t have any right to pass judgement on their taste in entertainment.  They have no right to choose your shoes, your home, your car or your husband/wife – the same logic applies: #ToEachTheirOwn

lisa-lampanelliLisa Lampanelli,  “The edgy comic wrote a piece in the Hollywood Reporter titled “How Political Correctness is Killing Comedy,” writing “Here’s the problem: Comedy, probably more than any other art form, is subjective. What jokes crack up your mom, your little brother, and your gay best friend will be completely different — unless it’s a video of a guy getting hit in the gonads with a piñata stick. That’s funny to everyone….If you like safe, generic comedy, that’s fine. Go on a cruise ship and crack up listening to the comedian point out the hilarious differences between loafers and shoes with laces. But don’t go to one of my shows and be outraged by what you hear. Going to my show and expecting me not to cross the line of good taste and social propriety is like going to a Rolling Stones concert and expecting not to hear ‘Satisfaction.’

fpbaarClosing with a return to the theme of #PeopleNeedToLightenUp, if my kid were still small and asked for this toy, I would totally buy it if it was real!  As kids we played house in a real playhouse.  Mom and dad left for work during the day and went out on dates at night.  Well, it’s 2016, dates are now happy hour after work and my girlfriend owns two of the bars I like: that’s real life small business ownership in today’s society people!  I couldn’t care less if people agree with my humor or not.  #IWouldBuyTheFisherPriceHappyHourPlaySet

Are you on Facebook?  If you’re interested in the occasional product that intrigues me or something I’ve bought that’s a waste of time or money, things that make me wonder, piss me off, tickle my fancy, scream like a maniac, giggle, or yell in frustration, you can receive an email each time I’ve got something new to ponder or you can join the more than 2,800 people who find me engaging or amusing at the Facebook page dedicated to this blog: https://www.facebook.com/extremeblondemoments

This I Did Not Know

disneyland-tips-tricksAs a someone who spent the bulk of my growing up years in Southern California, I went to Disneyland a lot.  I then worked there for 4 Summers and holiday breaks as what they called a “Seasonal Cast Member,” so I thought I knew most of the Disneyland rules and regulations.  According to Mandy Kennedy of www.twentytwowords.com, I was so wrong.  Hmmm

Apparently there are 24 very specific things you cannot do when you are a guest at Disneyland.

  1. You can’t fly a drone.  Well DUH! I would imagine you can’t even get one through the gate let alone think about flying one, running it into an unsuspecting guests head, crashing it into a ride or using it as part of any other nefarious plot.  As if…
  2. Adults can’t wear costumes.  Hello, creep much?  This is wrong for so many reasons: pedophiles, closet creep-os, wanna-be employees, nope.
  3. No folding chairs.  Back to explanation #1 – how would you even get one through the gate? I can’t see security being overly excited about chairs being able to be thrown into the middle of the parade, unfolded in the middle of a long ride line, or anywhere else for that matter.
  4. Give a speech or hold a demonstration. It’s the “Happiest Place on Earth” it’s no place for free speech, megaphones, or picket signs people. 😉
  5. You can’t blow up a balloon.  Deflated balloons are a choking hazard so only already inflated balloons are sold in the Park.
  6. You can’t bring a non-service animal into the Park. Too many people, too many opportunities for people to get entangled in your pet’s leash and trip/fall, or maybe your dog bites, or scratches, or causes some other injury that Disney might have to take financial responsibility for….it’s all about the legal liability here people.
  7. No wearing non-medical masks.  See #2 for explanation.  It’s all about the creep factor here.
  8. No large tripods.  If you have to ask, “how large is large?” you already know your answer. This is to ward off professional photo shoots in the Park that would impede the general public from access to and enjoyment of all areas of Disneyland.  People could trip over and be injured by the tripods and assume that Disney authorized the photography sessions, putting them at financial liability.  It also comes down to Disney controlling and collecting fees from anyone being professionally photographed on their property and protecting use of their copyrights.
  9. No profane language. It’s the Magic Kingdom not the WWE or a Raiders game.
  10. No outside alcohol allowed.  Disneyland wants to be able to control how much you drink and overcharge you for the drinks you are allowed to buy from their properties at the connected properties: Disney’s California Adventure and Downtown Disney.
  11. No skateboards, hoverboards or Segways. Self explanatory. The only non-foot transportation shall be via the rides in the Park.
  12. No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service.
  13. No Weapons.
  14. Your stroller can’t be bigger than 36″ x 52″ even if you have a stroller made for 6.  The stroller can’t be wider than the sidewalks people.
  15. No running!  I’m talking to you 52 year old man pushing the children out of the way to beat them to Space Mountain! If you’re not participating in the Disney 1/2 Marathon you better slow down!
  16. No flash photography!  I’m sorry you can’t get a great picture in “Pirates of the Caribbean” but your flash gives away the behind the scenes Disney magic and ruins it for everyone else.
  17. No exposed inappropriate tattoos. We don’t need to see that when you bend over you send a cheeky hello to your Mom.
  18. No feeding the animals. America has an obesity problem, Disneyland would like their animals to continue to not be part of that epidemic.
  19. No bags, backpacks or coolers larger than 24″ x 18″ x 15″ allowed in the park. We live in a heightened security age, which we all know, but those large bags also take up space that makes it hard for people to move freely.
  20. Smoking only allowed in designated areas. Laws are not in favor of public smokers anymore, secondhand smoke and all.
  21. No glass containers, except baby food, allowed into the Park. It might break and hurt someone you know. DUH
  22. The no tripod ban also includes no student movies, commercials or any other non-home video type filming….Disney frowns on this bigly 😉
  23. No filming on rollercoasters.  Well that one sucks.  I’ve always wanted to scream and barf while filming on my iPhone so that I can share my embarrassment on YouTube! and, this one’s a biggy…
  24. No cutting in line, holding a spot for others or joining others further in front of the line.  People tend to get really crabby when they’ve waited over an hour and you waltz in front of them and jump right onto the ride.

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Booze is Good For Late Night Laughs

flipcupThis morning a tease of a Page Six article: NBC worried Jimmy Fallon’s boozing got ‘out of control’ grabbed my attention.  I love Jimmy Fallon and some nights fight to stay awake just to see him so I can go to sleep giggling. Thankfully it linked straight to the article so I could skip the main page headline and picture of Kim Kardashian. GAG!

Since the late night guards changed a few years ago from Leno and Letterman to Kimmel, Fallon and Colbert, the show content has, not surprisingly, changed as well.

carnakthemagGone are the Johnny Carson days with his, boisterously laughing from the sidelines, sidekick Ed McMahan, and his orchestra, led by Doc Severinsen.  The bygone “Mad Men” era of weeknight cocktail parties when people stayed up to watch the 11:00 news and couldn’t wait to see who Johnny’s guests would be each night!  It was accepted and even slyly joked that his coffee cup, and those of his guests, held things other than coffee while they:

  • Talked about movies
  • Tame news topics
  • The host or a guest up and coming comedian made jokes
  • The guest might sing a song to the accompaniment of the orchestra
  • The host did skits that were aimed at a generation of adults that thought, Carnac the Magnificent, dropping pumpkins from the tops of buildings, or a man with a sledgehammer smashing watermelons was entertainment

Now ratings are the king.

poopwaterwithhgatesGeneration X and Millennials aren’t likely to tune into late night shows to see a host drone on about politics, to hear a celebrity talk about their latest movie, or, God forbid, reality show.  They will tune in to watch Jimmy Fallon drink poop.

Jimmy Fallon has been very good for NBC.  His admittedly drunken, or maybe just buzzeddrivingheavily buzzed (but kids, as the commercials say: Buzzed driving IS drunk driving!), exploits on the air brought in viewers they had, lost in the post Carson, Jay Leno years to CBS when David Letterman cut into their late night dominance.

martiniswithfergieFallon has a freshness, he’s funny, witty, creative, can carry a tune, he is Gen X, and has a huge network of Gen X and Millennial friends, which is the demographic NBC needed to grab.

While viewers obviously don’t want to see Fallon injure himself, get divorced or get fired, they do tune in to see him:

  • Perform duets with Justin Timberlake and other singers
  • Drink Poop Water with Bill Gates
  • Do Lip-Sync battles with the stars
  • Play Flip-Cup with Margot Robbie
  • Make and drink fancy martinis with Fergie
  • Host Celebrity Drinko (They all want to play)

For what it’s worth, the Page Six article does include a quote from NBC downplaying and denying any suggest that they are upset or questioning the host of the Number 1 rated late night show: “Bob Greenblatt, chairman of NBC Entertainment, told us, “Jimmy is one of NBC’s biggest assets, and we’re extremely proud that ‘The Tonight Show’ continues to be the late-night leader in all metrics, including ratings and social-media awareness. He’s in a class by himself, and we’re also looking forward to him hosting the Golden Globes in January. As a producer and star he delivers over 200 hours of television a year, and any suggestion that we have concerns about his behavior or have given him any kind of ‘warning’ is completely false.”

NBC can make sure he’s safe on the set and can insist he use a driver on their time to and from the studio, etc.  From what the article on Page Six says, it appears he is taking the steps to make sure he stays in control during the rest of the time.  As long as all parties are safe, I say to those commenting from the peanut gallery, “Stop.”  Hmmm

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