With more than 3/4 of a million views in just 6 hours, this post by Nina Mohan & Alice Mongkongllite via Buzzfeed.com was too good by itself to add any commentary to, except to say HMMM….
- Tie balloons to your nipples: It may seem ridiculous at first, but there is literally nothing worse than a boob that hangs in a natural way.
- Do Push Ups, “Boob Push Ups”: We all know boobs sag because they’re not fit! So use them to push yourself off the floor and you’ll finally get the lift you deserve.
- Hire someone to walk behind you and hold your boobs up at all times: Make sure they lotion their hands so your boobs absorb some of that sweet moisture.
- Invest in a boob shelf. Not a bra, a literal shelf: A nice slab of wood will help keep those boobs looking perky as ever!
- Don’t sleep on your front, side or back. In fact, don’t sleep at all: Your boobs probably flop around when you’re unconscious, so avoid sleeping at all costs.
- Wear a bra at all times, even in the shower: Letting your boobs hang free is like telling the world you want them to touch the floor!
- Avoid bouncy exercises that can damage ligaments, like jumping rope, trampolines, jumping jacks, running, walking, moving, or doing anything: Just stand very still. Your boobs will thank you later.
- Walk around with your arms up at all times to make your boobs appear higher: This is a great arm workout in addition to eliminating the sag!
- Massage your breasts with the feathers of a bird’s wing to promote lift: Make sure it’s a bird that actually flies! Chicken feathers will make your boobs drop a foot.
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