Keep Your “Girls” Perky!

With more than 3/4 of a million views in just 6 hours, this post by Nina Mohan & Alice Mongkongllite via Buzzfeed.com was too good by itself to add any commentary to, except to say HMMM….

9 Steps You Can Take to Avoid Boob Sag

balloonboobsboobupsboobholderboobshelfdon't sleepwearbranobouncearmsupfeathermassageg

  1. Tie balloons to your nipples: It may seem ridiculous at first, but there is literally nothing worse than a boob that hangs in a natural way.
  2. Do Push Ups, “Boob Push Ups”: We all know boobs sag because they’re not fit! So use them to push yourself off the floor and you’ll finally get the lift you deserve.
  3. Hire someone to walk behind you and hold your boobs up at all times: Make sure they lotion their hands so your boobs absorb some of that sweet moisture.
  4. Invest in a boob shelf.  Not a bra, a literal shelf: A nice slab of wood will help keep those boobs looking perky as ever!
  5. Don’t sleep on your front, side or back. In fact, don’t sleep at all: Your boobs probably flop around when you’re unconscious, so avoid sleeping at all costs.
  6. Wear a bra at all times, even in the shower:  Letting your boobs hang free is like telling the world you want them to touch the floor!
  7. Avoid bouncy exercises that can damage ligaments, like jumping rope, trampolines, jumping jacks, running, walking, moving, or doing anything:  Just stand very still. Your boobs will thank you later.
  8. Walk around with your arms up at all times to make your boobs appear higher: This is a great arm workout in addition to eliminating the sag!
  9. Massage your breasts with the feathers of a bird’s wing to promote lift:  Make sure it’s a bird that actually flies! Chicken feathers will make your boobs drop a foot.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA

Are you on Facebook?  If you are interested in blog follow ups, things that make me wonder, laugh or scream in frustration, join the nearly 2,500 people who find me engaging or amusing: https://www.facebook.com/extremeblondemoments

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s