Sports Can Be Very Funny!

On September 8, 2016September 8, 2016 By ls1228In Extreme Blonde MomentsLeave a comment

https://vine.co/v/eYamuuUh21Y/embed/simple
This sports double entendre may just be one of the funniest moments in recent sports history. That it happened to hall of fame broadcaster, Bob Miller, pains me, because he is my favorite. Make sure you click on the link and enjoy.

If you aren’t a hockey fan, you probably don’t get the double meaning of the comment Mr. Miller made in the clip above. Hockey fans died laughing. If you are the significant other of a sports fan who seems to have lost their mind because it’s Fall sports season, you have probably begun to also find yourself alone all weekend because you don’t share your significant other’s love of entire days spent watching sports on TV.

While some significant others feel left out, I don’t! I LOVE SPORTS. I watch them all! I haunt Twitter for any information about teams and players I care about and follow my favorite sports writers and on-air personalities. I search the sports talk first on Twitter and, inevitably, end up involved in tweet chats involving my favorite teams. I take on the big boys with passion (last week I called out ESPN’s Chris Fowler over his obvious Alabama bias during the broadcast and, without defending his bias, he instead debated me about calling those charged with Felonies, “Felons”), I research my positions, I back down when I’m wrong, but I fight to win when I think my position is supported and I’m right.

It may not look like it now, but I grew up a tomboy! My mom wanted to buy me cute skirts and dresses but I wanted Toughskins like the other girls and boys at Vejar Elementary. I didn’t sit in the halls playing paper dolls with the other little girls. My girlfriends all played every sport at school like I did. Kickball, tetherball, handball, dodgeball, football in the rain? I was in! Team sports? I played organized and then school soccer, volleyball, and tennis. But softball and basketball were the sports I played from 2nd grade through high school and beyond, and the ones that I loved the most.

If my dad was watching a football, baseball, basketball or hockey game on TV, I was planted right beside him watching and yelling along. It’s what we did. I think the hardest day for him was the day he had to tell my mom to make me wear a t-shirt under my softball jersey because he could see my C-Cup bra underneath the mesh. Poor guy. I think it was probably the first time he realized I really was a girl and not his oldest son!

I Love:

Wearing my favorite team’s colors: #Fight On, #Beat The Bruins, #Go Trojans; #Go Kings Go!, #Beat The Ducks; #Go Lakers;
Sitting on the couch, or sitting in a bar yelling & throwing high fives;
Eating food I shouldn’t and drinking cold beer; and
Cheering wins and feeling the disappointment of losses with friends.

But even if you aren’t one of those who grew up in a household that revolved around sports and sporting events, you can still come and feel like part of the gang!

Watch for funny headlines like the one about Alex Rodriguez to the left with it’s hilarious play on words. Commit them to memory, or even cut them out for reference and throw them into a conversation during the next baseball game you’re watching with rabid baseball fans. They’ll appreciate your effort.

Don’t zone out while everyone else is watching the game. Get into it. Listen to the banter, pay attention to what the announcers are saying about the game even if you don’t understand it, and if you time it perfectly, you may just get to throw out a well timed sports double entendre!

Some examples of sports double entendres:

Watching Basketball? If someone has the ball and is bouncing it up court (AKA “dribbling”) they are the: Ball Handler. If you hear someone refer to poor ball handling or they say he has “weak/bad/poor/shitty, etc. ball handling skills” you can whip out a witty comeback of, “I bet he’s great at pocket pool.”
In football, when a player is getting tackled it can be said that the opponent, “rode him to the ground.” Groan! Alright, it’s crude, but your amongst beer drinking football fans, it’s bound to be a little rough and tumble.
Again in basketball, if a team has 3 very tall players on the court, they have. “a lot of length down low.” wink wink

Whip one of these out and you’ll be the one your significant other’s buddies are anxious to have there every time they go out, not just when they are watching games! You’ll show a little bit of knowledge about the game you’re watching and you’ll be funny too! Before you know it, you’ll be the one getting the high fives instead of your significant other!

Are you on Facebook? If you are interested in blog follow ups, free or discounted stuff I find, things that make me wonder, scream like a maniac, laugh, or yell in frustration, join the nearly 2,700 people who find me engaging or amusing at the page dedicated to this blog: https://www.facebook.com/extremeblondemoments

Big Moving Problem Solved!

On July 29, 2016 By ls1228In Extreme Blonde Moments1 Comment

narrowstairturn I saw a video from an episode of This Old House on Life Hacker this morning and just had to share a great idea for moving a Full, Queen or King sized box spring up a narrow staircase, around hallway corners or through tight doorways. I can’t believe I didn’t know about this simple fix on any of my moves before! Hmmm

You’ll need these tools:
– Slotted screwdriver
– Handsaw
– Bungee cord
– Hammer
– Cordless drill with 5/32-inch-diameter drill bit
– Cordless impact driver/screwdriver
– Staple gun

TIP: I’d also get out your vacuum cleaner and put the hose attachment on and take this opportunity to get rid of any dust that may have accumulated on the springs through any small tears or holes in the fabric at the bottom of the box spring.

If your fabric has any tears this is a great time to replace it. If you need to replace any, you don’t even need to know how to sew, using the supplies I’ve linked to below!

I would look at the undersides of your mattresses at least a month before your move to determine if any need to be replaced. If they do:

Measure the bottom of the box spring, adding an inch all the way around.
Either go to your local fabric store or go online and order your fabric (The one I prefer comes in 119″ width) at: www.joann.com.

You can buy your fabric anywhere, but I find the best deals and most to choose from at Jo-Ann Fabrics. They always have some kind of coupon to use in stores or online and they deliver quickly so your project isn’t delayed. I don’t work for them, I just shop here.

Once you’ve ordered the fabric for as many beds as you’ll be doing, all you have to do is wait for it to get there then you can get to work on making your new box spring under coverings.

Double check the measurement of the bottom of your box spring + 1″ per side (top and bottom, left and right)
Cut your fabric to your measurements.
Using your iron, press down the edges of your fabric so you have a clean edge to staple when you are re-assembling your box spring.
Make sure to mark each finished piece you do with the name of the bed and bedroom so that your pieces match the bed they are supposed to.
Fold the pressed pieces down into a size that fits into a large zip bag (I buy the 5 gallon size for projects like this – at Bed, Bath & Beyond or on Amazon.com – so I can put of them in one)

How to Move a Box Spring In a Narrow Area:

Lay a large tarp on the driveway, then place the box spring facedown on the tarp.
Use a narrow slotted screwdriver to pry up the staples that secure the fabric to the bottom of the box spring.
Peel back the fabric to expose the wood frame.
Pry up and remove the metal support bar.
Fold down the fabric on each of the long sides of the box spring.
Use a handsaw to cut through the 1×3 wood strapping on each side.
Fold the box spring in half, then secure it with a long bungee cord.
Carry the folded box spring up the stairs and into the bedroom.
Unhook the bungee cord and flatten out the box spring.
Use a hammer and a 2×4 block to straighten out any badly bent box-spring wires.
Drill 5/32-inch-diameter pilot holes at an angle through the strapping cut in Step 6.
Reattach the cut strapping with two 2 1/2-inch-long screws; repeat to secure the cut strapping on the opposite side.
Replace the metal support with a 1×3 cut to length.
Screw the 1×3 to the wood frame of the box spring.
Staple the fabric back onto the underside of the box spring.

GENIUS!

Are you on Facebook? If you are interested in blog follow ups, free or discounted stuff I find, things that make me wonder, scream like a maniac, laugh or yell in frustration, join the more than 2,600 people who find me engaging or amusing at the page dedicated to this blog: https://www.facebook.com/extremeblondemoments

Build an Elliptical Desktop in 30 Minutes

On July 26, 2016July 25, 2016 By ls1228In Extreme Blonde MomentsLeave a comment

xcx_1050 I moved my elliptical machine into my guest room/office this week to make room for the new rowing machine I just “had to have” but had no room for in the workout portion of the garage. I had the space available and, after adding some component shelves to the walls beneath and beside the “extra” TV I gained this week when my husband insisted the spare bedroom needed a 40″ high def TV, (Don’t get me started, at least it was a daily deal on Amazon) it might spur me to get off my ever expanding backside more during the day.

The only rub was that I have always disliked the magazine/iPad tray on this Nordictrack CX 1050 Elliptical that caused heat to build up on the touch screen beneath. So, lightbulb! I’d get a desk to stretch between the stationary arms so I could use my new favorite tech toy: Logitech k480 3 device Bluetooth wireless keyboard to use my laptop via the nifty screen mirroring app that came on the Sony DVD player that I attached to the old TV so, when I wasn’t striding and working on my blogs, I’d be able to watch videos & Netflix, etc. while spending hours on the elliptical. Let’s not all fall out of our chairs at the same time laughing hysterically. Hmmm

Of course, the desktop I ordered came nowhere close to working. Undeterred, I gathered up scrap wood from some of my other “projects of desperation,” as I call the things I build when I can’t find what I need to suit my purpose, and set about making a desk that would work for me. The best news for anyone who doesn’t have power tools, or isn’t comfortable using them, is you can go to Home Depot (or Lowe’s) and they’ll cut your wood for free and the whole thing can be assembled with wood glue if you don’t want to use screws.

Parts:

1 Piece 24″ x 12″ wood sanded (I glued & clamped 2 scrap pieces together)
1 Piece 1″ x 2″ x 26″ wood sanded
1 Piece 1″ x 2″ x 30″ wood sanded
1 Piece 1″ x 8″ x 24″ wood sanded
1 Piece 1″ x 2″ x 12″ wood sanded
Wood Glue
Clamps

Assembly Instructions:

Lay the piece of 1″ x 2″ x 30″ wood (on it’s 2″ wide side) on your work surface. Measure 15″ across and mark the enter point of your wood. This is the cross member that will lie underneath the desk across the widest part of the stationary side arms of your machine. The portion of the arms that are furthest away from the computer / screen of the machine.
Measure 6″ away and lay down your 1″ x 2″ x 26″ piece of wood (sitting up tall on it’s 1″ skinny side) to begin to form the slope for a better viewing and working angle – this is where you will see the piece of leftover closet rod I used. Measure 13″ across and mark the center point of your wood. This piece is the piece of wood that will be sandwiched between the two pieces of wood that create the angle of the desk that will be closest to the front of your elliptical machine’s moving handles. My machine handles move in a very compact movement, so these measurements work for my model (shown above). You may need to adjust the measurements at this point to make sure that your arms have enough room to move once the desktop is glued down in step 4.
Apply a line of wood glue to both of these pieces of wood on the portions facing up toward the ceiling. I use Gorilla Wood Glue. It dries in about 30 minutes and holds tight.
Mark the center point of the piece of 24″ x 12″ wood at the top and bottom and connect the points with a solid line on the side that will be underneath (facing the floor and glued to the cross members). Mark a point down from the top at 7″ at both ends and in the middle and draw a line connecting the marks and crossing the middle line.
Lay the piece of 24″ x 12″ wood with the line side facing you, then lay the top cross member (1″ x 2″ x 26″) glue side down, matching the center point you marked at 13″ with the center line on the desktop underside, and make sure the cross member is in perfect alignment with the edge along the top. Clamp the cross member to the top firmly.
Match the center mark on the 30″cross member with the intersection point on the lines you drew on the underside of the top, line the top edge of the cross member up with the line all the way across, then firmly press the glued side down, clamping at the ends. There will be an excess 6″ that is not attached to anything beyond the 30″ cross member.
With the bottom of the desktop still facing up, make sure that you can see the center point marking at 13″ then mark a point 2″ in from each end of the top cross member.
On the bottom cross member make sure the center point is clearly marked at 15″ then mark a point 3″ in from each end.
Remove the clamps and run a line of glue across both cross members between the marks you made. Do not run the glue all the way to the ends.
Take the piece of 1″ x 8″ x 24″ wood and mark the top and bottom edges at 12″ (the midpoint width-wise). Line up with the center points you marked on the cross members and press the 1″ x 8″ x 24″ firmly in place. Open the clamps up a bit and re-clamp the sandwiched cross members in place. Allow the glue to dry for 30 minutes.
Turn the desk over and allow the clamped ends to overhang your work surface (I put it in place on the elliptical so I could finish the last step while it dried).
Make sure you can clearly see the marked center point at the bottom of the desktop. Take the remaining piece of 1″ x 2″ x 12″ wood, mark the center point at 6″ about 3/8″ up from the bottom of the wood when stood up on it’s end.
Run a line of glue along the edge of the desktop facing you 6″ out each way from the center point. Spread it with your finger so it won’t drip while you are placing the 1″ x 2″ x 12″ with the edges aligned at the bottom so that the 1″ x 2″ stands above as a lip or edge that guards against your keyboard, iPad, Book or Magazine slipping off while you are striding. You can secure it with a expandable clamp, or strap clamp meant to stretch for this purpose, or do like I did and, using 1 1/2″ trim screws and my power screwdriver, sink a couple of screws in from the front and fill with wood filler to hide the holes.

TIPS:

I used 2 1/2″ wood screws driven up from the bottom through the closet rod because the round surface against the two flats didn’t adhere as well with the glue.
I used 1 1/4″ trim screws from underneath to secure the 30″ cross member to the desktop so that everything was extra secure.

Yours will be more “finished” looking than mine because I was utilizing scraps and you’ll be cutting to exact measurements with new pretty wood.