Tombstone – Extreme Blonde Moments

googleweedquestions I had some time to kill this morning and saw a headline that teased answers to the 10 answers people ask most about marijuana on google. Of course that meant I had to click on the link to www.herb.co (thank God I have no plans to run for office and the contents of my internet searches wouldn’t be of interest to anyone). While funny, intriguing and certainly worthy of someone’s consideration, I have to admit that reading them led me to a few other questions of a more journalistic nature.

But to get to those, I guess we first should look at some of the things enquiring minds just have to know, so they seek out the always helpful Google. Just for fun, I’ve added some snark in red:

Will I get higher if I hold in my hit longer? A real head scratcher I know, but, disappointing though it may be, the answer is NO. More than 95% of the THC is absorbed into the system within seconds of inhaling.
If I smoke before exercising, will I increase my endurance? Hmmm, I’ve never known any of my weed smoking compatriots to be bundles of unspent energy… To hear Google describe it, exercising while high is just “capital.” Wink and nod to Curly Bill Brocius of Tombstone fame. Science says Cannabis raises metabolism, helps with muscle recovery after the workout and helps increase endurance. Cannabinoid receptors in our brain are calmed by the THC, reducing anxiety and increasing stamina. All that fun stuff about endurance and stamina, but I don’t see anything about giving you more energy or motivation to perform the workout…
Is weed stronger now than it was in the 1970’s? Well, DUH! Since people had to sneak around dark alleys to find the crap smuggled in from Columbia and smoke it down to the stems and other woody parts then vs. today, when it’s not so hard to come by, OF COURSE IT IS! Who needs Google for that answer?
Is there a way to reduce my high quickly? UM, what’s the point of getting high if you just want to get it over with? For the newbies or scardy cats (who really have nothing but a mad snack attack to fear) drink icy cold water, eat super spicy food or eat citrus fruit and you’ll be back to your boring self in no time.
Can I make dabs at home? This one stumped me. Not being a connoisseur of any type of edible nor an afficienado of the herb as smoked, I don’t even know what a dab is. The weed blog tells me that it is butane hash oil smoked to get “as high as you possibly can.” Ooookay. I digressed. Google’s answer was that some expert home users have used a hair straightening iron and some parchment paper. My guess would be that some more internet research would need to be done on this topic.
What is the difference between Indica and Sativa? Again, WHAT? This one apparently even stumped some users. This is a recreational drug discussion here people, you’re getting way too technical… For those who just must know all of the proper names for the strains, Google says Indica strains are meant to calm, relax and reduce anxiety – great for nighttime tokers, while Sativa strains induce creativity and heighten energy for daytime smokers.

That does however lead to some more of my questions:

How many states, as of today, allow legal recreational use of marijuana? Right now there are only 4. Washington & Colorado since 2012 and Alaska, Oregon, & the District of Columbia since 2014. Maine & Nevada have initiatives for recreational use on the ballot in 2016. There are 16 states where use/possession of minimal amounts of marijuana have been decriminalized and 25 states that have passed medical marijuana laws. It is absolutely amazing how many cases of anxiety, chronic depression, glaucoma, and other ailments that only respond to treatment by cannabis prescription have been written since those laws have passed 😉

To that end, other questions asked of Google are the semi-obligatory:

Where do I find a doctor to write me a prescription for marijuana? Can these people walk and chew gum at the same time? Google the area OF COURSE! Check the ratings and reviews and you’ll find dozens upon dozens of doctors more than willing to write you a prescription for weed to smoke, to eat, to drink as tea, and God knows what else…
Can I become addicted to cannabis? PEOPLE, how many times does Google have to tell you NO? Weed isn’t physically addicting. Mentally is a whole nother discussion…; and the giant pink elephant in the room of all marijuana discussions…
Why is cannabis still not legal in the United States as a whole when alcohol and cigarettes, which are physically addicting, are legal? Google didn’t have any good answer, except to say that the Federal Government hasn’t figured out how to exploit it for the maximum financial benefit OF the government.

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While in Colorado over Christmas break in 1993, I was one of the opening weekend box office goers who saw Kurt Russell put a sexy spin on late 1800’s gunslinger, Wyatt Earp, in the movie Tombstone. Add the smoky voiced Sam Elliott as crusty Virgil Earp and Val Kilmer’s irreverent personification of Doc Holliday and you have the perfect movie!

Critically, Rotten Tomatoes gave it a 73% “Certified Fresh” review, but the public loved it even more with a whopping 94% giving it “two thumbs up!”

Financially, Tombstone did eventually double it’s production budget of roughly $25,000,000 (largely financed personally by Russell) earning $56,505,065 in the United States before it was released to Video (which was still a money maker in the 1990’s) in November of 1994 where it earned an additional $22,000,000+, but in terms of today’s blockbusters that bring in that amount in a weekend, was it really a financial success?

With adjustments for the financial times, it can be said that yes, it was a success:

It is the 14th highest grossing film back to 1979; and
True West Magazine called it, “One of the 5 best westerns ever made”

For Tombstone virgins, although, after the many times it’s been on broadcast and pay television (even in it’s edited form) it’s hard to believe that there are any who haven’t seen the classic, there is a 10 minute compilation of classic scenes from the movie that is sure to whet your appetite to see the whole thing.

One viewing of this classic isn’t nearly enough. You’ll love the whole thing: Robert Mitchum’s smoothly delivered narration that keeps the story moving, the detailed back stories, the humor, and for us ladies, the romance between Josie (played perfectly by the sultry “Guy’s Girl” Dana Delaney) and Wyatt that is wound throughout the film and comes t0 a satisfying conclusion. You’ll want to watch it again and again, if for no other reason than to hear the memorable lines that are frequently heard in conversations and seen in print/online 22 years later. Hmmm

Among My Favorites:

“I’m Your Huckleberry”
“Why Johnny Ringo…Looks like someone just walked all over your grave!”
“Nonsense. I have not yet begun to defile myself”
“I like men. If that means I’m not ‘lady-like’, then I guess I’m just not a lady!”
“It appears my hypocrisy knows no bounds.”
“You tell ‘em I’m coming … and Hell’s coming with me, you hear? HELL’S COMING WITH ME!”
“Your Spanish is as bad as your English! He’s quoting the bible, Revelations: Behold the pale horse The man who sat on him was death and Hell followed with him”

I have lost count of the number of times I have seen Tombstone, but I can tell you that, no matter how much of the movie I’ve missed, I generally watch anytime I come across it on my TV. Watch it an you’ll see: Tombstone is an addiction!

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